How to Survive When You Can’t Leave Yet
I know exactly how it feels to be trapped in a job that feels utterly wrong.
For years, I showed up every day to a corporate role that I couldn’t care less about, surrounded by people I couldn’t connect with. I smiled through the meetings, nodded at the right moments, and delivered results, but inside, I was crumbling. The stress made me ill—mentally, physically, and emotionally. I became depressed, turned to alcohol to numb the feelings, and felt like I was spiraling into someone I didn’t recognise.
And yet, I stayed. For too long, I told myself I couldn’t leave: the financial security, an overwhelming sense of inertia - maybe it would get better, magically-, the sheer fear of the unknown—it all kept me stuck. Sound familiar?
If you’re reading this, you’re probably there now. Maybe you’re lying awake at night, staring at the ceiling, wondering how long you can keep this up. Maybe you’re clock-watching, dragging yourself through the day, and barely holding on. I get it—truly, I do.
This guide isn’t about some unrealistic overnight fix. You are going to shift career, but maybe, right now you can’t. So this guide is SHORT term survival guide. It’s about surviving the storm, finding your footing, and building a path to something better.
2. Strategies to Survive and Thrive
1.Build a Realistic Exit Plan
No, you can’t just slam your resignation letter on the desk… yet. Besides rage quitting isn’t the done thing when you are a mid career professional.
But what you can do is build an escape route. Think of it like plotting your prison break: set a countdown, identify the milestones / criteria you need to hit before you leave (cash savings, project wrap-ups, etc.), and keep track of your progress. It’s all about giving yourself hope and a tangible light at the end of the tunnel.
Remember those T.V. marathon charity events with the barometer display of progress toward a target, yeh, that. What colour is yours?
2.Get Help
If your job is making you physically or mentally ill, it’s time to call in reinforcements. And if you are unsure it is, but it might, it probably is. And you are in denial. (Friend to friend chat for you there)
A doctor can give you an objective take on where you’re at, offer strategies like time off or therapy referrals, and even prescribe something to take the edge off those thorny feelings.
Remember, tough times don’t make you weak—they just show you’re human.
“The difficult thing is that vulnerability is the first thing I look for in you and the last thing I’m willing to show you. In you, it’s courage and daring. In me, it’s weakness.”
3.Share the Load
Carrying the weight of inauthenticity is exhausting. You’re smiling when you don’t mean it, nodding along when you want to scream, and generally faking your way through the day. Start finding ways to offload—journaling, venting to a non-work friend, or even just acknowledging your feelings can help you feel less like you’re suffocating under it all. Which brings us to…
4.Tell Someone (Important)
What you’re going through doesn’t just affect you—it impacts those around you. So, tell someone. Seriously. Start with a friend, partner, or family member. The closer they are to you, the more important it is that you talk.
Be honest about how you’re feeling. If it begins with a rant and a moan, give them a heads-up and ask for patience. This isn’t just for the stereotypical stiff-upper-lip British man, but if that’s you—from one to another—please, lean in. Telling someone could be the first real step toward relief.
5.Reduce Your Hours
What if you could claw back some of your time and energy? It might sound impossible, but a lot of people are surprised by what happens when they ask to reduce their hours. Even a half-day less each week can give you some breathing room to think, plan, or just live a little.
The trick? Sounds obvious but ask. It might be helpful to remember the nature of the power dynamic in the employee employer relationship. It really is in your favour, after all, they can have some of your time or none of your time right? More on that next…
6.Reframe the Power Dynamic
You’re not just an employee—you’re the CEO of [Your Name] Inc. (Though you might want a snappier job title than that)
You own your time, your skills, and your effort, and you’ve chosen to sell them to your employer. This mindset shift can change the game. Start thinking like a business leader: are you getting value from this deal? If not, how can you renegotiate or maximize your return (hello, skill-building or networking)? Suddenly, you’re not stuck—you’re strategising. This is one of my favourite topics, and you can read plenty more about this HERE or check out this exercise
7.Take on a Secret Side-Project (At Work)
Inject some joy into your workday by starting a little project that’s just for you. Maybe it’s being the office morale booster (random acts of kindness, anyone?) or tackling a part of your job you actually enjoy. It doesn’t have to be big; it just has to make you smile—even a little.
Is this the most patronising suggestion in this article? You decide - answers on a post card to the usual address.
8.Take on a Secret Side-Project (At Home)
What if your escape plan started after hours? Whether it’s learning a new skill, testing out a side hustle, or pursuing a passion project, doing something that lights you up outside of work can make the daily grind more bearable. Bonus points: it’ll give you momentum for your eventual big leap.
9.Look Elsewhere for Different People
Spoiler: your colleagues are probably stuck in the same work drama as you. For fresh perspectives (and a break from the venting cycle), find new people to spend time with.
The clichéd version for this is to join a salsa class of life drawing gourp. But this isn’t the 90’s nor a Richard Curtis movie. So try tagging along to your partner’s social events (or a close friend). And put it in the diary to make sure it happens. The key is low-effort ways to expand your circle without overthinking it.
10.Shift Your Focus
Your job might feel like an endless loop of frustrations, but focusing on every little annoyance won’t help. Instead, try zeroing in on the positives.
That strategy session where you nailed the presentation? Celebrate it.
The quarterly board meeting where your idea gained traction? Own it.
The positive feedback from your mentee on the advice you gave. Take it.
By focusing on wins, even small ones, you can shift your perspective and rediscover a sense of accomplishment.
What you focus on grows, so why not let the good stuff grow?
11.Shake Up The Little Things
Change doesn’t just happen—you make it happen. Science backs this up: even small shifts in routine can create big benefits. Studies, like one from the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign, show that adding variety to your daily grind can boost creativity and give you fresh perspective.
So why not take charge? Even seemingly unrelated things like varying the route you walk to and from the office can charge your neural wiring and help you break out of entrenched thought patterns. And thinking about how shitty your work has become is defintiely an engrained pattern right?
OK, this one takes the prize for most ‘off the wall’ but the science backs it up and it might just change more than you expect. Put it on the “Zero Consequence Experiment” list.
12.Fill Your Tank
Burnout isn’t just about work—it’s about running on empty. Find what genuinely recharges you and make it non-negotiable. This could be mentoring a junior colleague to share your expertise, reading that non-business book you’ve been meaning to get to, or indulging in a creative pursuit like photography or writing.
The key is finding activities that break your usual patterns and let you reconnect with yourself. And when you’re tanked up, everything else gets a little easier.
Actionable Advice
Here’s where the rubber meets the road. Start by picking one or two strategies that resonate with you and make a plan. What needs to happen to turn those ideas into action? Break it down: who do you need to be to follow through? Think about the mindset, discipline, or courage required to take that first step.
Then, map out how you’ll make the change as easy as possible. What obstacles can you predict? Identify barriers before they trip you up, and plan ways to mitigate them. Need more time? Cut out something less important. Worried about follow-through? Set reminders or pair your action with a habit you already have and enjoy. (Read Atomic Habits by James Clear for more.)
Finally, make yourself accountable. Share your plan with someone who will hold you to it, or set a deadline and commit to checking in with yourself. Whether it’s a friend, coach, or colleague, having someone in your corner can make all the difference.
The goal isn’t perfection. You are leaving this job, right! But when you need more time and need to stick it out for longer than you want, these strategies are going to help. Which one is the easiest for you to adopt this week?
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